Sue Scheff: "Parents, are you at your Wit's End?"

Sue Scheff: Arguing with Teenagers: Don’t Take the Bait

2009-04-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love this website for all parents and guardians raising kids. Not to mention educators that work with kids. This article is particularly interesting since I was a parent that took that bait! Oh, hindsight is great!

Source: PowerMomsUnite

It’s a popular phrase in my house: “Don’t take the bait.” We have variances on it including “don’t be a fish,” “some one is fishing,” and the most popular “looks like you’re going to land a big one.” With 5 kids in the house, several of who are close in age, they joke, tease, and well, see who can get a rise out of whom. A product of an only child family, I was deeply disturbed by this behavior when they were younger. I lecturing about home being a sanctuary and that no one was to be teased ever! I have come to accept that as a family with ADHD, and maybe every family has this to some degree- boredom breeds a little teasing/ poking/ fishing. The nature of the teasing has changed- due to my insistence that relationships be nurtured and that personal attacks are harmful- its rarely name calling or about a person’s attributes or personality- because that gets you in a time out and period of service for the offended- but rather the teasing is simply irksome prankish behavior designed to get your goat- like slowly delivering a fork to a sibling, as they wait at the table staring at a warm brownie covered in melting ice cream or getting in the bathroom before a sibling and then taking their time to brush their teeth as the time to leave for the bus approaches. I think every family with more than 1 child has something going on like this….

What I had not expected is to forget to take my own advice. Yesterday, my 13-year-old landed a big one- his mother. Amid a discussion about how he chose to react to sibling’s behavior, my 13-year-old erupted with the statement, “ Mom you always pick favorites- I know he is your favorite.” Before I knew it, I was defending my response to the sibling; instead of addressing the 13-year-old’s behavior. I became so angry that I walked away before I said something I did not mean. (While that is important to do when you feel out of control- it also ended the engagement.) It was masterful- he had managed to completely derail me, and escape reflection on his own behavior….

I had forgotten my golden rule of managing teenagers, prepare for being baited or having your buttons pushed. Don’t take the bait, always have your unemotional response ready to keep the conversation on track. On one of my better days I would have said, “ I am sorry you see it that way, you need to apologize to your brother for your part of the disagreement.” I would have repeated that statement regardless of what he said in response. Teenagers, and well any child will find your weak spot and exploit it, when they feel pinned into a corner. As parents it is our job to control our responses and be ready, even when we are not at our best.

After I cooled off, I circled back with my cool, “ I love you. You need to apologize to your brother for your part in the disagreement.” He stomped his feet and slammed a door- but he apologized to his brother and even added “what can we do to fix this between us- “ It ended in laughter between both brothers and as the 13 year old and I processed our disagreement later, we laughed at the big one he had landed.

Visit www.powermomunite.com for more information and leave comments! Do you have helpful tips? Take a moment to share with others.

Sue Scheff and Teen Help - Helping Parents

2009-03-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

Are you a parent struggling with a teen today? Are you at your wit's end? Troubled by the defiance and negative behavior your teen is displaying? Lack respect for authority - for YOU -the parent?Know you are not alone!

Almost a decade ago I went the very same feelings of isolation, hostage to my own home and watching my good teen turn into a person I hardly recognized!Read the online story of A Parent's True Story.

I created P.U.R.E. (Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc.) in hopes of helping other parents learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge.I was almost silenced when the massive organization (WWASPS/Carolina Springs Academy) sued me - but I fought back and the truth prevailed. I won all legal actions!

When they lost on all counts including in the Supreme Court (I had a jury trial victory) my next hurdle was defeating the negative Internet Slander and Defamation.You see, when you can't defeat someone legally - the Internet has become the next legal lethal weapon.Again, I fought back - only this time I won an unprecedented jury verdict of damages for over $11M!

So, when you see ugly postings about me - twisted truths and outright lies, understand I will always have critics that don't agree with me as well as those that want to silence me or discredit me, but I continued to fight back and continued to be victorious on all counts.

Read Wit's End and look for my new book coming out in the fall of 2009 which will focus on this new legal lethal weapon.

Sue Scheff - Teen Help - Learn more

2009-02-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

If you are debating residential therapy for your teen, learn more about this extremely daunting and confusing industry. Yes, you need to get help - but educate yourself first.

Learn more about Wit's End at http://www.witsendbook.com/ and author Sue Scheff at http://www.suescheff.com/ -the response has been overwhelming!

If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit's End and learn more!

For a quick read, check out http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ - the foundation of Wit's End!

Sue Scheff: Parenting Blogs

2009-02-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

"It's not enough in today's challenging world to just love our kids. We must give them the tools to be prepared to cope with life’s challenges in a caring and humane way. It's our job to give them the direction they need to avoid negative influences, and become successful, caring human beings. We all need to work together... educators, moms, dads, caretakers, communities... we all have a stake in helping our kids create a better world... as a mom of three, I've been there." – Dr. Michele Borba

Sue Scheff: Mom Blogs!

2009-01-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

Recently I am noticing more and more parents are stepping up and talking about their issues, concerns, frustrations as well as sharing ideas and tips they have used in raising their children. All in all, it is about parents helping parents.Years ago when I struggled with my daughter, I felt so alone - and it was such a hush hush mentality. We were all so determined to prove our kids were nearly perfect! Oh, so smart and athletic or gifted and talented in some way. In today’s generation of raising children it is become more challenging.

Here are a few Blogs on Parenting that could help you help your child:

Van’s Mom - Exploring and dealing with an ADHD and ODD daughter.
Tangerine Times - Myrna’s parenting tips on the sweet and sour times of teens.
Phil’s Blog - Why physical education is so critical to children today in highly techy times.
Inhalant Abuse Blog - Parents educate other parents on the dangers of many home products.
Love Our Children Blog - Helping keep today’s children safe.
Sarah Maria’s Blog - Learning to increase your self image to make better choices. (For parents and teens!)
Lori Hanson’s Blog - Holistic solutions for a eating disorders.
ADD/ADHD Blog - ADDitude Magazine offers many parent Blogs on ADD/ADHD and more.
Safe Teen Driving Club - Learn more about teen driving safety tips.

Sue Scheff: Teens Skipping School - Teen Truancy

2009-01-18T15:36:00.001-08:00

As second semester is open, the phones are ringing and the parents have a common thread, their teens are not going to school! Skipping classes and already talking about dropping out.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student’s education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent’s self-esteem.

Read the causes here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts- Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens - Cutters

2009-01-12T15:14:00.001-08:00

Self abuse (or self mutilation) can come in many forms; most commonly it is associated with cutting, hair pulling or bone breaking, but it can also manifest itself as eating disorders like bulimia, and/or anorexia. This site will focus mainly on cutting, which is the most common form of self abuse, with 72% of all self injurers choosing to do so by cutting themselves, and hair pulling. Cutting is exactly as it sounds; when your teen cuts him or herself as a physical expression to feel emotional pain. There are many reasons why teens injure themselves, but many people assume it’s just ‘for attention’. Often this can be an element of why your teen may be abusing him or her self, but just as often it can be something your teen does privately to express the emotional pain they feel inside. And while self injury is a taboo subject, it is estimated that 3 to 6 million Americans self injure themselves in some way, and that number is on the increase- in fact, its already doubled in the past three years.

Learn more - click here.

Sue Scheff - A Parent's True Story Lives On - Helping More and More Families

2009-01-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

Are you a parent struggling with a teen today? Are you at your wit's end? Troubled by the defiance and negative behavior your teen is displaying? Lack respect for authority - for YOU -the parent? Know you are not alone!

Almost a decade ago I went the very same feelings of isolation, hostage to my own home and watching my good teen turn into a person I hardly recognized! Read the online story of A Parent's True Story.

I created P.U.R.E. (Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc.) in hopes of helping other parents learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge. I was almost silenced when the massive organization (WWASPS/Carolina Springs Academy) sued me - but I fought back and the truth prevailed. I won all legal actions!

When they lost on all counts including in the Supreme Court (I had a jury trial victory) my next hurdle was defeating the negative Internet Slander and Defamation. You see, when you can't defeat someone legally - the Internet has become the next legal lethal weapon.

Again, I fought back - only this time I won an unprecedented jury verdict of damages for over $11M!

So, when you see ugly postings about me - twisted truths and outright lies, understand I will always have critics that don't agree with me as well as those that want to silence me or discredit me, but I continued to fight back and continued to be victorious on all counts.

Read Wit's End and look for my new book coming out in the fall of 2009 which will focus on this new legal lethal weapon.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Teens - Wit's End!

2008-12-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

Are you at your wit’s end?

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
Is your teen verbally abusive?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Does he/she steal?
Is your teen sexually active?
Teen pregnancy?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Mood Swings? Anxiety?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Juvenile Delinquent?
Conduct Disorder?
Bipolar?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?

Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?

Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.

Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:
· Helping Teens - not Harming them
· Building them up - not Breaking them down
· Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
· Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
· Protect Children - not Punish them

Sue Scheff: Parenting At Risk and Depressed Teens

2008-12-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

It stems back to “children need to have their self-esteem built up to make good decisions.” Today most families are either single parent or both parents are working full time. This is not the fault of the teen, nor is it the fault of the parents. It is today’s world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, peer pressure, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today.Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems. Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today’s life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids.

Talk and LISTEN to them. Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard time, even if you can’t understand it; be there for them.This all sounds so easy and so simple, but take it from parents that have walked this path, it is not easy. When a parent works a full day, has stress from the job along with household chores, not to mention the bills, it is hard to find that moment. We are all guilty of neglect at one time or another after all, we are only human and can only do so much. We feel the exhaustion mounting watching our teens grow more out of control, yet we are too tired to address it.

Out of control teens can completely disrupt a family and cause marriages to break up as well as emotional breakdowns.We know many feel it is just a stage, and with some, it may be. However most times it does escalate to where we are today. Researching for help; Parents’ Universal Resource Experts is here for you, as we have been where you are today.

Do you have a difficult teen, struggling teen, defiant teen, out of control teen, rebellious teen, angry teen, depressed teen? Do you feel hopeless, at your wits end?

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/.

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens

2008-11-20T14:16:00.000-08:00

Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Author of Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-Of-Control Teen
Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips

1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.

3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.

5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild to further help protect their children online.

6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes, ASPCA, Humane Society or places where they are giving to others or helping animals. It can truly build self esteem to help others.

7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.

9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! for more information.

10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Mark Peterson, Teen Help, Lisa Irvin, Jane Hawley, Carolina Springs Academy, Darrington Academy, Academy at Ivy Ridge, WWASPS, Premier Educational Sys

2008-11-14T11:26:00.001-08:00

Are you considering any of the following programs for your child? Take a moment to read my experiences - http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ as well as my book where you can hear my daughter's experiences for the first time - order today at http://www.witsendbook.com/ .

Choosing a program is not only a huge emotional decision, it is a major financial decision - do your homework! Learn from my mistakes - Gain from my knowledge!

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (withdrew their affiliation with WWASPS)
Ally Schools - Marketing Arm - Jane Hawley
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SC
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS
Horizon Academy, NV
Lisa Irvin (Helpmyteen)
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Mark Peterson - Teen Help Marketing Arm
Majestic Ranch, UT
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide (Promotes and markets these programs)
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Respect Academy, NV
Royal Gorge Academy, CO (recently closed)
Spring Creek Lodge, MT
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis
Tranquility Bay, Jamaica
Alert - rumor is that a new program is Mexico is opening soon.
ALERT - It is also rumored that there is a short-term program in or near Oceanside, CA - which may be connected with this organization.

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ for more information.

Sue Scheff Talks to Global Talk Radio - Are you at your Wit's End?

2008-11-02T06:22:00.001-08:00

Valerie Connelly speaks with Sue Scheff about her book, Wit's End "Resources for Saving Your OUT-OF-CONTROL TEEN," and Kathleen Duey, about her book, "My Animal Family." Also, Ramona Rubio joins to discuss her book, "The Alchemical Woman."
Listen here: http://www.globaltalkradio.com/shows/callingallauthors/

Sue Scheff Talks with Kandee G on Wit's End!

2008-10-18T06:02:00.000-07:00

Sue Scheff talks about Wit's End! and the struggles parents are facing today with their teens. Learn more and list live! http://www.kandeeg.com/ It's All Good News!

Sue Scheff talks about Wit's End on Walking on Air

2008-10-07T05:39:00.001-07:00

Betsy Brint and Sally Higginson are wives, mothers, sisters and friends. The two live five blocks from one another. Betsy is the mother of three; Sally is the mother of two. Their husbands are friends as well as brothers-in law. A large percentage of the time, Betsy and Sally consider themselves happily married. The remaining small percentage of time makes for lively radio.

Visit http://www.walkingonair.org/index.htm to listen and pick-up helpful tips on life today with families and parenting!

Sue Scheff - Wit's End! A Mother and Daughter's True Story

2008-09-24T12:33:00.001-07:00

With peer pressure and social influences at all-time highs, many good teens are making bad choices, placing intense emotional and financial strain on parents and families. Lack of motivation, substance abuse, negative peers and gang affiliation are just some of the common challenges facing kids today.

To help address these and other issues, parent advocate Sue Scheff has announced the release of her new book, “Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen.”

Scheff’s book chronicles her painful journey with a struggling teenage daughter and also offers advice, resources and help to mothers and fathers forced to make tough choices regarding their children.

“In the MySpace generation, kids are under more pressure than ever before,” says Scheff, author and founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.), an organization that assists families with at-risk children.

“This book will be an invaluable resource and allow parents to learn from my past mistakes,” she adds.

As a single mother in the ‘90s, Scheff struggled to raise her teen daughter, who embraced disturbing friends, beliefs and behaviors. Ultimately, Scheff was forced to utilize a residential treatment facility as a way to instill discipline and structure.

What happened next was chilling -- stories of beatings, sexual abuse, forced starvation and neglect all surfaced from the very facility that was supposed to be protecting and rehabilitating Scheff’s daughter.

In the years following her ordeal, Scheff championed for safe alternatives for at-risk teens and began helping other parents who were facing similar challenges as she once did.

Published by Health Communications, Inc., “Wit’s End” is an extension of the assistance Scheff has been able to provide to families over the years.

“Parents need to know that they’re not alone,” says Scheff. “This book is a much-needed guide to avoid the pitfalls and will ultimately help expedite the healing process.”

For more information, visit http://www.witsendbook.com/.

About the Author
Sue Scheff is the founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (http://www.helpyourteens.com/) and is a sought-after interviewee and speaker on topics such as Internet abuse, struggling teens, cyberbullying and defamation. She has been featured on 20/20, CNN Headline News, ABC News, Fox News, The Rachael Ray Show, Lifetime Television, NPR, BBC Talk Radio and has appeared in the USA Today, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Miami Herald and San Francisco Chronicle.

SUE SCHEFF - On South Florida Voices

2008-09-19T04:25:00.000-07:00

Sue Scheff was on South Florida Voices and talked about her new book - Wit's End!

Hosted by Deborah Ally, South Florida Voices features in-depth analysisof issues affecting the lives of South Floridians.Recent shows have explored health care, personal financial planning, the arts and community resources.

Sue Scheff Shares Her Story when she was at her Wit's End!

2008-09-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

Weston, Florida - Parent Sue Scheff knows all too well the frustrations of dealing with a troubled teen. Being a single mom was tough, but as daughter Ashlyn reached her teenage years, the problems became too much to handle. Bad decisions and difficult situations left Sue Scheff with no choice but to look to outside help for her troubled teen and salvation for strained family.What she didn’t know continues to haunt her. Seven years after her devastating travels through the teen help industry,Sue Scheff has become an advocate for safe alternatives and parent education. Through her organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Scheff has helped numerous families safely and successfully find help.

http://www.daretotranscend.com/
http://www.transcendingdivorce.com/

"Leap, and the net will appear!" Julia CameronListen to my new Radio Show, Journeys from the Heart...

Sue Scheff Talks about Wit's End on Here's Help

2008-09-06T14:01:00.001-07:00

I was honored to be a guest on the Y-100 Here's Help Radio Show talking about my new book, Wit's End! as well as parenting teens today.

About Here's Help, Inc.

Founded in 1968, Here’s Help has become one of Miami-Dade County’s premiere providers of residential and outpatient substance abuse treatment, annually serving 800 adolescents and young adults starting at the age of 13. Funded by local, state and federal contracts, Here’s Help has excelled as a substance abuse treatment provider and is lauded by the Departments of Corrections, Department of Juvenile Justice, Department of Children and Families (DCF), and Probation and Parole for its treatment, educational and preventive services.
Learn more at http://www.helpfl.com/ .

Sue Scheff: Is Teen Pregnancy on the Rise?

2008-09-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

Teenage Pregnancy

Every year approximately 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. This is roughly 1/3 of the age group’s population, a startling fact. Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mother will not graduate high school. Many young teen girls that are suffering with low self worth or feelings of not being loved believe that having a baby will give them a purpose in life. Unfortunately they are not looking at the whole picture and the reality of raising a child.

These girls are not emotionally prepared to make such a major decision in their young life – yet many are in this situation. As a parent, we need to keep the lines of communication open, as hard as that is, it is necessary.

If you are parent who recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and very serious time in both of you and your daughter’s life.

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a parent. You can and will make it through this as a family.

For more information on Teen Pregnancy visit http://www.sue-scheff.org/ .

Sue Scheff on ABC News - WPBF-TV

2008-08-28T14:38:00.001-07:00

What a great experience to share my book, Wit's End! and story with Lisa Hayward at ABC News in West Palm Beach!

Sue Scheff: When you are at your wit's end - financing a road to recovery for your teen can be challenging

2008-08-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

With today's struggling economy - compounded with the need to get our teens outside help, the costs can be staggering. Many lenders are no longer providing Educational Loans.

One Lender that is offering help to parents is Clark Custom Educational Loans - Visit http://www.customedloans.com/ for more information.

Parenting Your 18 Year Old Young Adult by Sue Scheff

2008-08-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.

18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.

I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.

It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen. The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes. Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.

This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center. However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity. They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not addressed, the negative behavior usually escalates.

In the past 8+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school. Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education. Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.

I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity. While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change. The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally. If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult. This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system. As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home. It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.

At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults - and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need. In some cases - if the teen knows they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will agree to get outside help.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Michael Phelps Mom on How to Raise an ADHD Superstar

2008-08-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

Source: www.ADDitudeMag.com

Meet the mothers of three ADHD super-achievers — an Olympic record-breaker, a TV heavyweight, and a world-class adventurer — and learn how they helped their kids beat the odds.

What does it take to succeed despite attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD)? It takes hard work, for starters — a willingness to meet challenges head-on. It takes support from family members, teachers, therapists, and coaches. And, of course, it’s hard to overstate the benefits of ADHD medication.

But, of all the ingredients needed to make a happy, successful life, nothing is more important than good parenting. Behind almost every ADHD success story is a devoted parent (or two). In honor of mothers, let’s give credit where credit is due.The three mothers profiled here helped their sons and daughters achieve great things — more than they could have imagined. Steadfast and resourceful, they saw strength where others saw weakness, and kept looking for ways to help their children after others were ready to give up. Let their stories inspire you!

Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1998.html

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Truancy - A Growing Concern

2008-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate "excused" absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school's handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student's education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent's self-esteem.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Stop Bullying Now!

2008-07-29T12:53:00.001-07:00

So you're being bullied, huh? That can feel pretty awful. But, no matter how bad it makes you feel sometimes, you should know you're not alone. That's right ... there are plenty of kids all over the world who go through the same things you do every day. And, even though you may feel helpless sometimes, there are a lot of things you and others can do to help stop the bullying. Give these tips a try.

Always tell an adult. It's hard to talk about serious things with adults sometimes, but they can help put a stop to bullying. Tell an adult that you trust and can talk to—your parents, your teacher, your school counselor, your coach, your neighbor. If you've told a grown-up before and they haven't done anything about it, tell someone else. And if you're afraid to tell an adult that you have been bullied, get another person—like a friend or a sister or brother—to go with you. Having someone else there to support you can make it a lot less scary. Tell the adults exactly what has happened—who did the bullying, where and when it happened, how long it's been happening to you, and how it's making you feel. If you talk with an adult at your school, ask them what they will do to help stop the bullying. It is their job to help keep you safe. Most adults really care about bullying and will do everything they can to help you.

Learn more http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4031198492495064998

Why is My Child so Distressed?

2008-07-24T08:09:00.001-07:00

By Jane Hersey
Author of "Why My Child Can't Behave"

Many things can lead to the development of behavior problems in children, and there are many ways to address them.

If the reasons for a child's problems stem from a family situation, interaction with peers, events at school, etc., then the place to look for resolution is clearly there. But if the child has always been hard to parent, the answers might be as close as your kitchen pantry. Here are some children whose families have found answers in their kitchen.

Joshua had a history of social and behavior problems and was expelled from several day care centers and private schools. He did not cope well in special classrooms with a ratio of six children and three teachers. His diagnoses included: severe ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), Tourette syndrome and mood disorder syndrome. He was angry, aggressive, compulsive, threatening to kill others and himself, and nothing helped. The counseling, drugs, and even the psychiatric facility did not impact on his downward spiral.

Betsy was only 7 years old, but was haunted by thoughts of death; one of the pieces of art work she brought home from school was a black paper with three tombstones, bearing the initials of her parents and herself. She quietly planned on ways that she could end her life, which held no joy for her despite a loving family that desperately tried to help her.

Sean was expelled from preschool for his violent aggression and uncontrollable behavior. His family tried a therapeutic preschool, and he was at risk of being kicked out of a hospital treatment center because even they could not deal with this little boy's behavior. No amount of medicine controlled his “bi-polar behavior” and psychotic episodes, and his parents were told that Sean was “seriously mentally ill” and would require life-long support.

Frank had a history of violent behaviors and at age 17 it was only a matter of time before he would be incarcerated. But he heard about a special diet and decided he wanted to try it. His meeting with the doctor who was using this diet to help children like Frank, Sean, Betsy and Joshua meant flying from Tennessee to California. Because his mother was afraid of him, Frank's older brother accompanied him to visit with the doctor, Ben Feingold, who was chief of allergy at the Kaiser-Permanente Medical Center in California.

Dr. Feingold discovered that some of the many chemicals routinely added to foods have the ability to affect any system of the body, including the brain. When a child is predisposed to be sensitive to these chemicals, they can wreak havoc. In order for a brain to function well, there are many chemical and electrical processes that must work appropriately; in other words, a lot things have to “go right.” When you add in a potent chemical such as an illicit drug (or even a legal one) our brain chemistry can be dramatically affected. Our bodies handle food additives and drugs in a similar manner.

All of these children described above have stories with happy endings once the offending chemicals were identified and removed. Joshua is an outstanding young man who has won numerous honors in school, in sports, and is a leader in an Air Force program for future officers.

Betsy is a normal, happy girl, Frank is a successful adult and Sean has no remnants of any “permanent mental disorder.” In fact, his mom reports he has recently joined the church choir.

Our bodies are composed of the food we eat; this is where we obtain nutrients of all types, including essential fatty acids, trace minerals and the many vitamins a healthy human body requires. But more and more children are no longer consuming food. Instead they are existing on a diet of synthetic substances that do not deliver the needed components to keep bodies working well and keep our brains operating rationally. These so-called foods might look like real food, fooling our eyes. They might even taste like food, fooling out taste buds. But our bodies are not fooled and when they do not receive the nutrients they need in order to function, things begin to go wrong. In addition to the nutrients they do not receive children today are ingesting a chemical stew of foodless ingredients, many of which are derived from crude oil (petroleum).

Dr. Feingold's experience with troubled children showed that there are a few food additives that appear to be the worst offenders, and removing them brought about significant – often dramatic – changes in behavior, mood, and the ability to focus and learn. These additives include synthetic food dyes (such as Yellow 5 and Red 40); they are created from crude oil, and most of the dyes added to our food start out in petroleum refineries in China. Common preservatives, artificial flavors and even fragrances typically are created from petroleum; rose petals no longer are the source of those pretty scents!

The Feingold diet has been helping families for decades, and the non-profit Feingold Association continues to offer information and support to those who want to learn more. Parent volunteers show others how they can find the foods they enjoy, but minus the unwanted additives; most of them are available at neighborhood supermarkets. See www.feingold.org .

In addition to removing the offensive additives, researchers have found the many benefits of adding supplements to nutrient-starved bodies.

Researchers at Oxford University have shown that the behavior of young male prisoners calmed down when their diet was supplemented with a combination of vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids (EFAs). Other British research has shown the dramatic benefits of the EFAs, including help for children with ADHD and autism. In the US EFA research has been ongoing at Purdue University for many years.

When nourishing food was given to teens in juvenile detention facilites the improved behavior was documented. And when the Appleton Alternative High School in Wisconsin switched from the usual school food to fresh, healthy food, the behavior problems evaporated and learning improved.

Another risk factor for children with behavior and learning problems.

The drugs that are generally given to children with these problems offer additional concerns. While they may bring about improvements, they are not risk-free. The Food and Drug Administration now requires ADHD drugs to carry warning labels that some children might have reactions that include:

psychotic behavior, depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, violence, as well as a host of health effects including cancer, liver damage, strokes and heart attacks.

Risk factors with antidepressants and related drugs

Psychotropic drugs are routinely given to children who are diagnosed as depressed, bi-polar, etc., and these also carry warnings that side effects can include depression and violent behaviors. It can be difficult to sort out whether a behavior is originating within the child or is a side effect of some of the medications he is taking. The fact that all of these drugs are now being given to children who are still infants raises many red flags. Who knows what long-term effects they will have?

While it's comforting to think that only a minority of children experience the most dangerous reactions, the number of children now being medicated means that a minority can be a very large number of children. (It has been estimated that 10% of all 10-year-old boys in the United States are now on drugs for ADHD.)

A new awareness in Europe

The scientific evidence for the harm caused by petroleum-based food dyes is now so compelling that the British government is seeking to ban them and the European Parliament has voted to require warning labels on foods that contain them. While dyes are not the only additives that can cause adverse reactions, they are the most notorious, the easiest to replace, and offer no value to the consumer.

So, for the child whose behavior has gone over the edge, or if you worry that your youngster is on this path, one simple change that you can implement with no risk, very little cost, and relatively small effort, is to replace those mixes, cookies, candies, sodas, and fast food with nearly-identical versions that are free of the worst of the additives. And while you're at it, try eating the good food yourself; every parent needs to have their brain cells working at optimum levels as they deal with that temporary insanity called “adolescence.”

Sue Scheff: Are Your At Your Wit's End?

2008-07-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

P.U.R.E. is based on reality - especially with today's teen society of technology including MySpace and other Internet concerns for children. Today we are educating children at much younger ages about substance abuse, sex, and more. The latest wave of music and lyrics, television, and movies help to contribute to generate a new spin on this age group. This leads to new areas of concern for parents.

We recognize that each family is different with a variety of needs. P.U.R.E. believes in creating Parent Awareness to help you become an educated parent in the teen help industry. We will give you a feeling of comfort in a situation that can be confusing, stressful, frustrating, and sometimes desperate.

Desperate? Confused? Stressed? Anxious? Helplessness? Frustrated? Scared? Exhausted? Fearful? Alone? Drained? Hopelessness? Out of Control? At Wit's End?...

www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com
www.suescheff.com

Wit's End! Featured on Miami DayBreak

2008-07-15T13:44:00.001-07:00

What a great time I had on Miami DayBreak talking about my new book, Wit's End!

Sue Scheff Launches Wit's End!

2008-07-12T06:02:00.001-07:00

From the same publishers that brought you the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, now offers you "Wit's End!"

My story if filled with inspiration and hope as well as offers parents and people that work with today's pre-teens and teens, advice and resources for today's struggling teens.

The response has been overwhelming since we launched the book! I am very proud of my daughter who spoke for the first time publicly in Wit's End! Hear her story of what she endured at Carolina Springs Academy.

Most importantly- learn from our mistakes so you don't make the same ones.

Sue Scheff: Teen Anxiety

2008-07-06T08:01:00.001-07:00

Teen Anxiety

The lesser known relative of depression, anxiety, afflicts people of all ages and can be especially detrimental for teenagers. It is completely normal and even common for individuals to experience anxiety, particularly during stressful periods, such as before a test or important date (think Prom). For many, this is beneficial, serving as motivation to study hard and perform well; however, for many, anxiety goes beyond standard high-stress periods. While occasional stress is nothing to worry about and can even be healthy, many people experience anxiety on an ongoing basis. People, especially teenagers, who suffer from anxiety disorders, find that their daily life can be interrupted by the intense, often long-lasting fear or worry.

Anxiety disorders are not fatal; however, they can severely interfere with an individual's ability to function normally on a daily basis. The intense feelings of fear and worry often lead to a lack of sleep as it makes it very difficult for people to fall asleep. Those with anxiety disorders also commonly suffer from physical manifestations of the anxiety. The anxiety can cause headaches, stomach aches, and even vomiting. In addition stress can cause individuals to lose their appetite or have trouble eating. One of the more difficult aspects for students to deal with is difficulty concentrating. When one is consumed with worry, his or her mind continuously considers the worrisome thoughts, making it considerably harder for teenagers to concentrate on school work and other mentally intensive tasks. These affects of anxiety can make it difficult for teenagers to simply get through the day, let alone enjoy life and relax.

While there seems to be no single cause of anxiety disorders, it is clear that they can run in a family. The fact that anxiety disorders can run in families indicates that there may be a genetic or hereditary connection. Because a family member may suffer from an anxiety disorder does not necessarily mean that you will. However, individuals who have family members with this disorder are far more likely to develop it.

Within the brain, neurotransmitters help to regulate mood, so an imbalance in the level of specific neurotransmitters can cause a change in mood. It is this imbalance in a neurotransmitter called serotonin that leads to anxiety. Interestingly, an imbalance of serotonin in the brain is directly related to depression. For this reason, SSRI medications, more commonly referred to as anti-depressants, are often used to help treat an anxiety disorder. Medication can provide significant relief for those suffering from anxiety disorders; however, it is often not the most efficient form of treatment.

In addition to medication, treatments for anxiety disorders include cognitive-behavioral therapy, other types of talk therapy, and relaxation and biofeedback to control muscle tension. Talk therapy can be the most effective treatment for teenagers, as they discuss their feelings and issues with a mental health professional. Many teens find it incredibly helpful to simply talk about the stress and anxiety that they feel. Additionally, in a specific kind of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy teens actively "unlearn" some of their fear. This treatment teaches individuals a new way to approach fear and anxiety and how to deal with the feelings that they experience.

Many people attempt to medicate themselves when they suffer from stress or anxiety. While individuals find different ways to deal with the intense worry that they may experience, self medication can be very detrimental to their body. It is not uncommon for people who suffer from anxiety disorders to turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve the anxiety. While this may provide a temporary fix for the afflicted, in the long run it is harmful. By relying on these methods, individuals do not learn how to deal with the anxiety naturally. Reliance on other substances can also lead to alcohol or drug abuse, which can be an especially significant problem if it is developed during the teen years.

Statistics on teen anxiety show that anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental disorders among adolescents:

8-10 percent of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder include: anger, depression, fatigue, extreme mood swings, substance abuse, secretive behavior, changes in sleeping and eating habits, bad hygiene or meticulous attention to, compulsive or obsessive behavior
One in eight adult Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder totaling 19 million people
Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse among men
Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. $46.6 billion annually
Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed

Learn more about Teen Anxiety.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) 10 Quick Tips for Parenting Teens

2008-07-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

Parenting Tips by Sue Scheff

1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.

3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.

5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online.

6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes or places where they are giving to others. It can truly build self esteem to help others.

7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.

9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement.

10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Learn More at www.helpyourteens.com

What is the Strengths Movement?

2008-06-27T07:11:00.001-07:00

By Jenifer Fox

At its core, the Strengths Movement is a social movement intended to change how we view ourselves, our children and our world. We have all been conditioned to see weaknesses and mine for deficits. This movement seeks to change that perspective and then apply the positive strengths perspective to our families and our schools.

There is no better place to begin this movement than in our families and the schools.

A vast collection of committed individuals does not constitute a movement. A movement must have followers and actions. Movements usually spring up in response to a threat.

What is the threat?

Our schools are failing to prepare children to thrive in the 21st century. There are many good ideas about how to change that. This movement seeks to unite all those ideas and wrap them in one force field: discovery, development and use of strengths. What is a strength? It is what energizes you, differentiates you, make you feel useful and whole. Strengths combined with direction create a chain of positive and right actions.

Who has a stake in this movement?

Businesses--whose productivity depends upon the talent of the next generation.

Parents and educators, preschool through university--who share responsibility for finding the strengths in the next generation.

Students-- who have the biggest stake. After all, they are their strengths and it is their future.

A Parent's Guide to Gateway Drugs

2008-06-17T11:47:00.001-07:00

A Parent's Guide to Gateway Drugs

A gateway drug is a drug that opens the metaphorical gateway to more potent, dangerous drugs. Substances like alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana are considered gateway drugs. While many parents are tempted to say "it's only beer" or "its just pot", the danger in gateway drugs is their ability to convince the user that they can handle larger quantities or in many cases, stronger, more potent substances.
Click here for more information.

Sue Scheff: The Dangers of Inhalant Abuse

2008-06-15T08:21:00.001-07:00

By www.inhalant.org

Inhaled chemicals are rapidly absorbed through the lungs into the bloodstream
and quickly distributed to the brain and other organs. Within minutes, the user
experiences intoxication, with symptoms similar to those produced by drinking
alcohol. With Inhalants, however, intoxication lasts only a few minutes, so some
users prolong the “high” by continuing to inhale repeatedly.

Short-term effects include:

headaches, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe
mood swings and violent behavior, belligerence, slurred speech, numbness and
tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, visual disturbances, limb
spasms, fatigue, lack of coordination, apathy, impaired judgment, dizziness,
lethargy, depressed reflexes, stupor, and loss of consciousness.
The Inhalant user will initially feel slightly stimulated and, after successive
inhalations, will feel less inhibited and less in control. Hallucinations may
occur and the user can lose consciousness. Worse, he or she, may even die.
Please see Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome below.

Long-term Inhalant users generally suffer from:

weight loss, muscle weakness,
disorientation, inattentiveness, lack of coordination, irritability and depression.
Different Inhalants produce different harmful effects, and regular abuse of these
substances can result in serious harm to vital organs. Serious, but potentially
reversible, effects include liver and kidney damage. Harmful irreversible effects
include: hearing loss, limb spasms, bone marrow and central nervous system
(including brain) damage.

Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome:

Children can die the first time, or any time, they try an Inhalant. This is
known as Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. While it can occur with many
types of Inhalants, it is particularly associated with the abuse of air conditioning
coolant, butane, propane, and the chemicals in some aerosol products. Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is usually associated with cardiac arrest. The Inhalant causes the heart to beat rapidly and erratically, resulting in cardiac arrest.

Learn more:

Visit www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Standing Up for Your Child's Educational Rights

2008-06-13T05:40:00.001-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.

In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.

“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”

Click here for the entire article.

Sue Scheff: Teen Eating Disorders

2008-06-11T07:33:00.001-07:00

Recently I was contacted by a wonderful woman that has struggled with Bulimia since she was 14 years olds. Teen Eating Disorders are a very serious concern for many parents - and they need to be made aware of the warning signs as well as solutions.

Lori Hanson is the woman I am speaking of, she is an Author, Speaker and Life Balance Expert.
Her new book - “It Started with Pop-Tarts” at the age of 14 - and through her college years suffered and battled with Bulimia. She shares a journey that parents with teens that are at-risk with having an eating disorder should read.

Learn more about Lori at http://www.lori-hanson.com/ - she may be able to help you help your kids.

Parents Universal Resource Experts Founder - Sue Scheff, Authors "Wit's End!"

2008-06-09T08:34:00.001-07:00

Help for Parents of Out-of-control Teens
Resources to help families in this critical time

(SOUTH FLORIDA)—In 2000, a teenager at a residential treatment center was locked-up in an isolation box for 17 hours with no windows, heat or air conditioning because she had tried to help a girl who was having a seizure. Later, that same teenager got food poisoning and was rushed to the ER (unbeknownst to her mother) because sewage had contaminated the food she was eating and sunk into the carpet of the living areas.

These are just some of the experiences that Sue Scheff’s daughter, Ashlyn, experienced while enrolled in a residential treatment program, supposed to be helping her cope with emotional and behavioral problems while building up her self-esteem. Furious about how Ashlyn had been treated, Scheff posted her experiences online about the program and was promptly sued for libel. Scheff won by a long shot.

Now parents can read Scheff’s story and learn from her mistakes in Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your OUT-OF-CONTROL TEEN (HCI Books, July 2008). The book is the result of her years of effort to educate parents and provide them with the proper resources to care for their own difficult teen.

“I was desperate to find good help for my daughter, but this program ended up making things worse,” says Scheff. “My book provides positive, prescriptive help for families who want to put their children on the road to a safe, healthy adulthood. It is imperative parents do their homework and Wit’s End can offer a convenient outline to get them started.”

Parents doing their homework becomes even more important in light of a 2007 study released by the U.S. Government Accountability Office which uncovered thousands of allegations of abuse, some of which involved death, at residential treatment programs across the country and in American-owned and American-operated facilities abroad between the years 1990 and 2007.

For parents who need one-on-one guidance, Scheff founded Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.), an advocacy group that not only researches residential treatment centers and other teen help programs around the world, but helps educate parents to choose which facilities are best suited to match their child’s needs.

Sue Scheff is a parent advocate and the founder of Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc. She has been featured in numerous publications and broadcasts, including: 20/20, The Rachel Ray Show, ABC News, CBC News: Sunday Morning, CNN Headline News, Fox News, BBC Talk Radio, National Public Radio and The New York Times.

For more information, please visit http://www.suescheff.com/ or http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Strategies to Keep your Teens Safe

2008-06-04T04:31:00.001-07:00

Source: Shoulder to Shoulder

Monitoring teens is an art form. Too much and teens will rebel or not learn the skills they need to function on their own. And too little monitoring can result in behaviors that spell trouble. What to do? Here are some strategies to consider for keeping track of teens.

Monitoring Teens

Read entire article for valuable information: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Strategies_keeping/

http://www.education.com/

http://www.helpyourteens.com/

http://www.witsendbook.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Talk to your Children about Alcoholism

2008-06-03T04:30:00.001-07:00

Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Quick Facts

Kids who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crime, to be involved in alcohol-related traffic crashes, and to have serious school-related problems.

You have more influence on your childâ€™s values and decisions about drinking before he or she begins to use alcohol.

Parents can have a major impact on their childrenâ€™s drinking, especially during the preteen and early teen years.

Read the entire article here:

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Make_Difference_Talk/

http://www.education.com/
http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/

Sue Scheff: Is Parent Coaching for your Family?

2008-06-02T13:45:00.001-07:00

Why Family Coaching Works by Dr. Paul Jenkins, PhD

The CreationTree Coaching Model:

Life coaching is a service that has been designed to assist individuals, couples, families, and organizations to achieve their highest potential.

Coaching is a deliberate process of focused conversations to create an environment for individual, family, and corporate prosperity, living on purpose, and sustained improvement in all aspects of life.

Genius Was Once Described ...

… as the ability to take the complex and describe it in simple terms without oversimplifying. Dr. Paul's keen insights into marriage and family has allowed him to distill these seemingly complicated topics down to practical core concepts. This is a gift absent in the motivational industry.

This is accomplished through the four P’s which are:

Principle: Add power to your life through principle. Principles are always true in every context. Natural laws are examples of principles - like gravity. Gravity will act on you whether you believe in it or not - and whether you like it or not. Identify the correct principles that will create freedom in your life, and get busy applying them. Principles govern.

Paradigm: Add power to your life through paradigm. The most powerful concept I have discovered in psychology is that there are two paradigms (victim vs. hero). You can choose which paradigm you embrace, and the outcome of each is sure. If you adopt a victim paradigm, you will experience misery and captivity. If you adopt a hero paradigm, you will experience happiness and liberty.

Purpose: Add power to your life through purpose. Your life is going somewhere for sure. Where it goes depends a lot on where you aim it. Develop a personal mission statement, and also one for your marriage, family, business, or other ventures. Start living on purpose. The phrase, “Live On Purpose” has a nice double meaning – that you have a clear purpose or mission for your life, and that you do it intentionally.

Passion: Add power to your life through passion. Passion is the driving force that motivates you. After you have successfully learned principles, the challenge is to apply those principles in your life in meaningful ways. This requires change, and to change you must find ways to get leverage on yourself. Passion for life increases dramatically as you begin to spend more of your time doing the things that you love for the people who love what you do.

Sue Scheff: Teen Career Angst by Connect with Kids

2008-05-28T09:12:00.001-07:00

“I want to be at the top of the pile, and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”

– Michael, 14

There’s growing evidence that kids today are more worried about their future than previous generations. And that anxiety is occurring in younger and younger children. How can this type of anxiety impact your child?

Whether they’re involved in sports, clubs or academics, kids today are quickly learning that competition is a part of life.

“I think there is more competition these days to go to the best college, to make the best SAT scores, and it’s like everybody is trying to be the best,” 14-year-old Connie says.

Even at the tender ages of 12, 13 and 14, adolescents begin to worry about the future – “Where will I go to college?” “What kind of career will I choose?” “How much money will I make?” It’s a new kind of teenage angst.

Thirteen-year-old Trey feels the pressure every day.

“I set my standards very high and when I don’t achieve my goal, I feel very bad,” he says.

Michael, 14, pushes himself, too.

“You want to be better than everybody else. I know I do. I want to be at the top of the pile and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”

The National Association of School Psychologists estimates that career-related anxieties among teens have increased about 20% in the past decade. Experts say striving for success is great, but they also warn that if it becomes an obsession, it can be unhealthy for kids.

“They become anxious [and] jittery. They become worriers,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist. “They turn to drugs or alcohol as external ways to calm themselves down.“

Experts say that parents need to help kids put success into perspective and teach them how to pace themselves.

“[It’s important to] emphasize the moment as opposed to where we are going to be in five years, where we’re going to be in 10 years or what are we achieving,” says Dr. Alexandra Phipps, a psychologist.

But more than anything, parents need to help their children recognize the importance of “just being a kid.”

Says Connie: “Sometimes, I feel like I have so much stress on me. And I feel like at this age, I should be enjoying myself, but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enjoying life as I should be.”

Tips for Parents

The recent barrage of layoffs and economic turmoil of the past year is not only taking it’s toll on the working class but it is also affecting children – even those in middle school – as they begin to worry about their financial future. According to the National Association of School Psychologists, career-related anxiety among children has increased approximately 15-20% in the past decade. Even affluent, academic achievers are finding themselves buckling under enormous amounts of pressure as they witness the world of work become a place of fierce competition.

This trend of children’s early anxiety over financial well-being is further evidenced by a 2007 Charles Schwab “Teens & Money” survey. The survey of 1,000 U.S. teens in aged 13-18 revealed the following statistics:

Despite their optimistic longer-term earnings expectations, 62% say they’re concerned about being able to support themselves after high school.

49% say they’re concerned their parents/guardians will not be able to support them financially if they attend college.

One in four (25%) say they sometimes feel guilty for being a financial burden to their parents (among teens 16-18, 31% say this).

More than half (56%) are concerned about their parents’/guardians’ financial well-being.

Is it harmful for children and adolescents to be worried about competition and financial success at such an early age?

Competition is generally good for children, according to the National Network for Child Care.

Whether children are competing for a spot on the volleyball team or a chance to win an academic scholarship, the experience helps them gain insights about their physical and intellectual skills and limitations.

Competitions also enable children to learn teamwork, identify personal goals, develop criteria for success and motivate them to increase their efforts to attain the goals they desire. But if your child begins to develop a “winning-is-everything” attitude, parental intervention may be necessary.

If your adolescent seems preoccupied by future financial insecurity, you can take several steps to ease their angst. The experts at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism suggest you start by using these tips to guide your child when dealing with the issue of careers:

Encourage your child to explore his or her options. Be supportive by asking your child, “Can I help you get connected?” or “Can I help you with researching a career?”

You need to remember this is not your career decision. Have trust in your child and be supportive, yet informative.

The world of work has changed since many parents made their first career choice. So some parents need to realize some of their information might be outdated.

Direct your child to resources where he or she can research his or her desired career.

If your child comes to you with career and financial concerns, the best action you can take is to listen, according to the National PTA. Engaging in open communication with your child and sharing your own experiences and frustrations will help to ease your child’s anxiety.

If your adolescent appears highly stressed about the future, you need to take the necessary steps to reduce that amount of stress before it can damage your child’s physical health. The American Academy of Family Physicians cites these signs and symptoms that indicate your child may be experiencing too much stress and anxiety:

Feeling depressed, edgy, guilty or tired
Having headaches, stomachaches or trouble sleeping
Laughing or crying for no reason
Blaming other people for bad things that happen
Only seeing the down side of a situation
Resenting other people or personal responsibilities
The National PTA says that you can help your adolescent learn to keep his or her anxiety at a minimal level by teaching him or her the following skills:

Limit or expand the number of your activities and responsibilities based on your capabilities. Preteens and teens should have challenges without becoming overwhelmed.

Avoid unnecessary worry. Thinking about a problem in order to arrive at a solution can be positive, but constant and unconstructive worry doesn’t accomplish anything. It usually just makes situations more stressful.

Become better organized. Plan activities and goals a step at a time so that parts are accomplished. This gives you more self-esteem and more reasonable deadlines.

Practice ways to reduce stress, such as aerobic exercise, proper nutrition, yoga, meditation, deep breathing, relaxation exercises, sleep, massage, taking a whirlpool or sauna bath and by having FUN.

References

American Academy of Family Physicians
National Association of School Psychologists
National Network for Child Care
National PTA
Northwestern University

Carolina Springs Academy, Darrington Academy, Midwest Academy, Royal Gorge Academy, Red River Academy, Lisa Irvin etc....

2008-05-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Are you considering any of the following programs for your child? Take a moment to read my experiences - www.aparentstruestory.com as well as my book where you can hear my daughter's experiences for the first time - order today at www.witsendbook.com .

Choosing a program is not only a huge emotional decision, it is a major financial decision - do your homework!

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (withdrew their affiliation with WWASPS)
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SC
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS
Horizon Academy, NV
Lisa Irvin (Helpmyteen)
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Majestic Ranch, UT
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide (Promotes and markets these programs)
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Royal Gorge Academy, CO
Sky View Academy, NV
Spring Creek Lodge, MT
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis
Tranquility Bay, Jamaica

Sue Scheff - Parent Advocate - Helping Teens through Tough Times

2008-05-23T08:39:00.001-07:00

Straight Talk: Helping Bright Teens Through Tough Times

Source: Davidson Institute for Talent Development

Let's face it - raising a child is difficult. Add to this fact all the characteristics of exceptionally bright young people that make this population unique. As they get older, they begin to move through adolescence, puberty, and teenage years. On any given day, it's likely that you already have a lot on your plate in terms of parenting your highly gifted adolescent. Then, your son or daughter experiences a bump in the road, perhaps even a sinkhole. How can you help your child in dealing with a difficult time, such as the death of a loved one or friend, existential depression, peer pressure, general disappointments and "life lessons"?

We asked some professionals with experience and expertise in nurturing gifted children to assist parents by sharing ideas for helping gifted teens through challenging times. Below, we've summarized their thoughts and suggestions.

Click here for entire article.

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/

Sue Scheff: Your Child's Strenghts by Jenifer Fox M.ED

2008-05-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

By Jenifer Fox M.ED

One of the most important goals of the Strengths Movement is to equip parents with the tools they need to help children discover and leverage their strengths. As this site continues to grow and evolve, we will continue to add resources. If you know of a good resource which is not listed here, let us know and we will add it.

Learn More Click Here.

**************
As a parent advocate, this book and websites offer tremendous educational information for parents to help them with their child's strengths.

Sue Scheff: Deliberate Misuse of Inhaler found in 1/4 of Teens

2008-05-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

We've had a few questions on the inhalant.org message board in the past months about teens potentially using their asthma medication to get high. One poster's friend had a daughter whose inhaler recently needed to be refilled every week when it normally was only refilled every two or three months. Another's stepson was misusing his asthma medication and "has been eating this pills as if they are M&Ms!"

The University of Michigan News Service featured an article about a new study looking at the prevalence of inhaler abuse in teenagers. The study in question was performed by researchers at the U of M using 723 adolescents in thirty-two treatment facilities.

The study reports that "nearly one out of four teens who use an asthma inhaler say their intent is to get high".The lead author of the study, Brian Perron, declared that their findings "indicate that inhaler misuse for the purposes of becoming intoxicated is both widespread and may justifiably be regarded as a form of substance abuse in many cases."

The study also found that teens that abuse inhalers are more likely to abuse other drugs as well as have higher levels of distress. They were also more "prone to suicidal thoughts and attempts than youths who did not misuse their inhalers to get high."

From a survey of the study participants, "about 27 percent of youths who had been prescribed an inhaler used it excessively. In addition, one-third of all youths in the sample had used an asthma inhaler without a prescription."

So why would teens abuse their inhalers? What are the effects? The inhaler abusers said that they experienced positive feelings of euphoria, relaxation, and an increase in confidence.The negative effects were "feeling more dizzy, headaches, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, irritability, and confusion."

The most common misusers of their asthma inhalers were females and Caucasians.

Sue Scheff: Silencing Skeptics: The Truth About ADHD

2008-05-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

Parents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.

I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.

As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.

Click here for entire article.

Sue Scheff - Wit's End! A Mother and Daughter's True Story and more

2008-05-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

"Wit's End!" is now available with my daughter's voice finally being heard of her experiences at Carolina Springs Academy. Order today at http://www.witsendbook.com/ and you will receive it shortly. "Wit's End!" will be in all book stores in July, so order the early release today!

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Raising Kids Today Can Be A Challenge

2008-05-16T11:45:00.001-07:00

Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.

Click here for more information and a variety of Parenting DVD's.

www.helpyourteens.com

www.witsendbook.com

www.suescheff.com

Sue Scheff - Teen Runaways

2008-05-14T10:36:00.001-07:00

A Growing Problem for Today's FamiliesOne of any parent's greatest fears is a missing child.

Each year, one million troubled teens from every social class, race and religion run away from home. Unfortunately, for American families, that number continues to rise.

Confused, pressured and highly impressionable teens follow their peers into bad choices. In most cases, runaway teenagers want to escape the rules and regulations of their family and household. Disagreements with parents leave them unhappy and frustrated to the point of rebellion. Naiveté leads them to believe they could survive outside the nest; and dreams of a life without parental guidance, rules and punishment seem ideal.

Click here for more information on teen runaways.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Huffing Freon

2008-05-12T08:18:00.001-07:00

As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) I think there needs to be more awareness on inhalant use of today's kids. Huffing Freon can be so accessible to kids today - especially since I am in Florida - I think parents need to take time and learn more. www.inhalant.org is a good place to start.
Read More.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - P.U.R.E.

2008-05-11T17:58:00.001-07:00

We recognize that each family is different with a variety of needs. P.U.R.E. believes in creating Parent Awareness to help you become an educated parent in the teen help industry. We will give you a feeling of comfort in a situation that can be confusing, stressful, frustrating, and sometimes desperate.

Desperate? Confused? Stressed? Anxious? Helplessness? Frustrated? Scared? Exhausted? Fearful? Alone? Drained? Hopelessness? Out of Control? At Wit's End?...

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Discipline Do’s: Creating Limits for ADHD Children

2008-05-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

5 ways for parents of ADHD children to establish a reliable structure and solid limits.

Your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) is loving, intelligent, cute, creative — and often wants his own way. He has the talk and charm to out-debate you, and will negotiate until the 59th minute of the 23rd hour. Like salesmen who won’t take no for an answer, he can wear you down until you give in to his wishes.

Sound familiar? Children with ADHD are more often slave to, than master of, their wishes and feelings. Those who are exceedingly impulsive and distracted seem to have a greater need for interaction and attention, even if getting it means battling with their parents. While all children require reliable structure and solid limits, ADHD kids need them more. Holding your ground is not mean or unreasonable. Here are some strategies for hanging tough.
Click here to read the entire article.

Sue Scheff: How Expectations Contribute to Success by Connect with Kids

2008-05-06T14:58:00.001-07:00

The Power of Expectations

Research shows that kids who grow up under high expectations do better than kids who don’t. And experts say kids start learning those expectations as babies. What do you expect from your kids? How is it working?

The Power of Expectations explores how setting goals can help children succeed. It also explores the dangers when parents have unrealistic expectations for their children, and how that shows up as stress, anxiety, and acting out with risky behaviors.

How do you balance the success you want for your child, as well as your own feelings, with what your child is truly capable of? How do you avoid expecting too much, or not enough? Watch The Power of Expectations, where you’ll learn from other families facing these same issues, along with powerful advice from child experts and educators.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Are you strugging with your teenager?

2008-05-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

Struggling Teens, At Risk Teens can be described in many ways, depending on what they are struggling with.

Is your teen struggling or at risk? Are they experiencing the bumps of puberty combined with the pressures of teen-life today? There are many reasons why your child could be experiencing a confusing time in their young life, but it is our responsibility as a parent to try to determine the cause of their inner hurt and sadness that can potentially cause negative and inappropriate behavior. Many teens will close up like a clam, but we need to keep on digging to help our child from sinking to a level of making bad choices. As a parent, this can be extremely difficult, and may require outside help. Don’t ignore it, search for answers then find your take action. Seeking outside assistance is nothing to be ashamed of and knowing you are not alone is comforting.

If a teen is struggling in school with their academic's, this could be a learning disability that has not been diagnosed or properly diagnosed. Your child could also be having some emotional problems that are distracting them from school and hopefully a therapist or guidance counselor could help you with. This can evolve from many sources including problems at home, a disagreement with a friend, or even an issue that they have been suppressing. With this, we always encourage parents to seek local therapist to evaluate the situation. Early prevention can help your child not to become a troubled teen.

At times a child may view an issue as extreme, when in reality it is minor. It is how a child perceives the problem, in comparison to how an adult would see the same problem. Children do not have the maturity parents have which may cause a child to act out negatively due to a minor incident. We may think it is small issue, but to the teen, it is huge. This needs to be addressed before it escalates into "major trouble." Problem teens, at risk teens, struggling teens, troubled teens, depressed teens, angry teens, difficult teens, violent teens all need proactive parents to seek help sooner rather than later.

http://www.helpyourteens.com/

http://www.witsendbook.com/

Carolina Springs Academy - Sue Scheff - A Parent's True Story (When I was at my wit's end).

2008-05-04T13:36:00.001-07:00

Click here to read more.

Our story has been read by thousands of families since I posted it years ago. I have been through litigation and proved my story is our experiences. I fought back as I have been maliciously attacked online and won an unprecedented jury verdict for damages of over $11M! My daughter and I are fighters - that is how she endured Carolina Springs Academy and I endured 5 years of litigation victoriously!

Sue Scheff - Parent Advocate - Wit's End! Book is HERE!

2008-05-03T11:05:00.001-07:00

Order today at http://www.witsendbook.com/ - A fantastic parent guide book as well as an inspirational story.

Sue Scheff - Troubled Teens? Defiant Teens? Out of Control Teens?

2008-05-01T15:03:00.001-07:00

Are you struggling with your teen or pre-teen? Considering outside treatment?

Take a moment to read "A Parent's True Story" and soon you can purchase "Wit's End!" which is where many parents feel when they are desperate with today's kids.

Sue Scheff: Discipline Without Regret: Tips for Parents of ADHD Children

2008-04-28T04:13:00.001-07:00

How parents can set boundaries for ADHD children without yelling, screaming, or losing your cool. The smart way to discipline.

Click Here for Entire Article.

Sue Scheff - Making Peace with Your Defiant Child: Discipline & ODD

2008-04-27T09:01:00.001-07:00

Discipline strategies for parents of children with oppositional defiant disorder - a common partner to ADHD.

Click here for the entire article.

ADDitude Magazine has comprehensive articles on ADD/ADHD in regards to both children and adults.

As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) my organization - Parents' Universal Resource Experts - is about parents helping parents and bringing you valuable stories, articles and more to help you with today's kids.

Sue Scheff, Parenting Teens Can be a Challenge

2008-04-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Are you at your Wit's End!

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: What your children are doing shouldn't be a mystery

2008-04-20T08:01:00.001-07:00

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet?

Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff Informational Articles on Parenting and More

2008-04-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

Check out my Blog on articles covering parenting, cyber safety and more.

Sue Scheff Authors "Wit's End!"

2008-04-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

Wit's End is the shockingly gripping story of parenting a troubled teen and how the author turned her mistakes —and her relationship with her daughter -- around. This highly practical and prescriptive book includes all of the advice that the author now offers other parents who are at wit's end through her nationally recognized organization Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.). A much-needed guide to help parents navigate the choices and methods available to them and their child, this book also serves as a cautionary tale that will help parents empower themselves – and their children – toward healing.

Wit's End is an action plan for parents to learn how to be active and empowered participants in their child's therapy.As a single mother, Scheff offered her daughter Ashlyn gymnastics courses and the finest and most exclusive private schools -- striving to make up for a fatherless household. But when her beloved child became a teenager, everything changed.Ashlyn embraced disturbing beliefs and behavior, made friends with a strange and maladjusted group at school, and refused to abide by rules.

At times, Scheff believed her daughter would harm herself or others, if she didn't seek professional help for her daughter. In desperation, Scheff turned to a residential treatment facility to instill discipline into her daughter while providing her with therapy and structure. The exact opposite turned out to be the case. After spending thousands of dollars and seeing troubling behavior in her child, she heard chilling stories of Ashlyn and classmates being kept in inhumane conditions, as well as of beatings, sexual abuse, forced starvation, neglect, and suicide. The daughter she had turned over to be helped by the residential treatment facility returned broken, depressed, and suicidal.

As Scheff struggled to find justice while fighting off lawsuits from the very institution that damaged Ashlyn, she found the strength and determination to found P.U.R.E. (Parent's Universal Resource Experts, Inc.), an advocacy group that draws parents together and helps them find ways to protect their children from destructive influences, educating them about the issues their particular child and family faces and creating a safe environment to revive familial bonds. Using the same criteria P.U.R.E. uses to research residential treatment centers around the world, Wit's End provides positive, prescriptive help for families who want only to put their children on the road to a safe, healthy, happy, and independent adulthood.

A chilling and fascinating journey into a damaged family and its path toward renewal, this cautionary tale, coupled with advice the author learned "the hard way" shows how one woman and her daughter found common ground again by standing up to the system and listening to their shared instincts and fought for safe alternatives for themselves and began to heal -- an example that every family struggling with trauma can relate to.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Parents Learning How to Protect their Kids Online

2008-03-30T07:49:00.001-07:00

Beware on the Web

Cyberbullying a Growing Concern for Parents, Schools

By JENNIFER FICKLEY-BAKER
LEDGER CORRESPONDENT

With recent high-profiled cases revolving around cyberbullying - sending or receiving threatening messages online or via text message - teens' online interactions are becoming a growing concern for parents and school districts alike. A 2005 study on cyberbullying by Florida Atlantic University's Sameer Hinduja revealed that approximately 34.4 percent of adolescents reported experiencing some sort of cyberbullying.

What's even more troubling is that more than 40 percent of respondents didn't tell anyone about their cyberbullying experience.

Three recent cases of cyberbullying have shed light on just what a serious impact this type of bullying can have. Thirteen-year-old Megan Meier of Dardenne Prairie, Mo.; 15-year-old Jeffrey Johnston of Cape Coral; and 12-year-old Ryan Halligan of Essex Junction, Vt., each committed suicide after encountering separate acts of what their families consider to be cyberbullying.

In 2007, Meier hung herself after she was "dumped" by a male friend on MySpace, when in actuality the male friend was really a neighborhood girl and her mother posing as a teen boy.

Johnson killed himself in 2005 after receiving a string of threatening e-mails and Internet posts, and Halligan committed suicide in 2003 after false rumors about his sexual orientation spread online.

Though these cases represent the extreme end of the spectrum and each of these children may have had other factors affecting their emotional state, cyberbullying is an increasing problem that students across the nation are experiencing.

Cristin Cotton, a senior at Harrison Center for the Visual and Performing Arts, recently deleted her personal MySpace page. Not because she was being bullied, but because she wanted to avoid getting pulled into online drama.

"MySpace and Facebook and sites like that used to be a place to talk and hang out and stuff, but now girls get in fights online and guys get involved and it's a bad situation," Cotton said, and advises younger kids to be wary of what to post online. "Definitely be careful of what you say. I feel like a fight between you and your friend is a fight between you and your friend, not you and everyone else on the Internet."

When it comes to guarding against cyberbullying - or bullying of any kind - Polk County School District employs Jim Maxwell, a school psychologist who specializes in handling student conflict, as well as developing training for teachers on how to identify and deal with bullies.

WHO BECOMES A CYBERBULLY?

According to Maxwell, the cyberbully is a different kind of specimen than the average playground bully.

"The typical bully research indicates that kids that bully do so because it benefits them," he said. "It gives them a sense of control and power. ... Another characteristic of a bully is getting what he wants through intimidation, and that's the way it works at home. Often a bully at school is a child that's being bullied at home, generally by the dominant male in the house.

"The cyberbully who uses electronic media to repeatedly harass someone may be different. I suspect that the overall motives remain the same, but some cyberbully kids are simply bored. If you think of prank callers, they're just seeing if they can do it to do it. I think there's a wider variety of kids engaging in cyberbullying than in direct forms of bullying."

According to Maxwell, the school district does have the power to step in and punish those who engage in cyberbullying, even if the interactions do not occur on school property or on school-owned computers. If those online threats cause a disturbance at the school in the form of gossip, class disruption or a confrontation between the students, the school has the right to get involved, he said.

WHAT'S CYBERBULLYING AND WHAT'S A SPAT?

It is, however, difficult to define cyberbullying behavior. An administrator must look at the circumstances behind what is written. For example, was the student writing the message being sarcastic? Was the comment written in response to something the other person had written about them? Or are there specific threats involved?

"Typically, the way to distinguish between cyberbullying is that someone has to analyze what kind of threat is involved, how frequently it's being used, and the sort of nature of the threat. If it's a one-time thing, it's probably harassment," Maxwell said. "If it's in any way repeated or linked up with behaviors occurring in school, then you have a history of bullying."

Maxwell says the standard definition of bullying includes:

An intention to demean or embarrass or make someone feel powerless or actually hurt them.

Repetition over time, and

An imbalance of power between the bully and the victim.

"That's probably the hardest for law enforcement, parents and administrators to sort out," Maxwell said. "What if the victim has been annoying the kid that might be characterized as the bully and you have a kind of back-and-forth situation? I think that's more a feud or rivalry. In real bullying you have that repeated harassment and there's a real difference in the bully and victim."

IF YOU'RE BEING BULLIED

According to Maxwell, the best defense against cyberbullying is to actively protect your child's identity online, meaning that children and teens should take caution in who they give their e-mail address and phone number to, as well as what chat rooms or Web sites they visit.

He also recommends children keep an anonymous profile online. That means using a made-up username, not one that indicates a first or last name. Also, refrain from giving out personal information, like addresses and even what school they go to. If a cyberbully finds them anyway, a parent's first step is to make a record of the interaction and then head to the police.

"If you have a son or daughter and they really are being harassed, do a 'print screen' and save it as evidence of what's going on. Then talk to one of the authorities if there are serious threats, threats that imply that someone's going to get hurt. ... If it's more a school-related issue, talk to the principal or guidance counselor."

A "print screen" is a simple way to take a digital snapshot of an e-mail, instant message or message board posting that appears on your computer screen. Simply find the key on your computer's keyboard that says "Print Screen" or "PrtSc" and hit it once. It will take a snapshot of your current computer screen. Then paste it somewhere.

Lastly, Maxwell advises that parents do not approach the bully's parents about their children's online behavior. Most likely, your complaint will fall on deaf ears and may cause even more problems for the victim.

"The fact that a lot of times children are bullied at home means that their father or significant male gets what he wants through intimidation and is teaching this strategy to his child in an indirect way.

"If you go to someone like that and confront them about something their child has done wrong, you're likely to get bullied yourself and the interaction may not go well."

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression, Anxious Teens, At Risk Teens

2008-03-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

By Connect with Kids
Leave Me Alone!

We all know teenagers can be moody, impulsive and irritable – but how can parents tell if the tears will go away or if they're a sign of something more? When your teen slams the door and shouts "Leave me alone!" – should you? Will your child be safe? Or are there signs of depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts?

Every parent needs to know the warning signs – when life feels too heavy or too scary for your son or daughter to handle alone. Every parent needs to know what treatments are available and what works with kids. Every parent needs to watch Leave Me Alone!

You'll hear actual teenagers talk about their struggles, giving you insight into what your own child may be feeling. You'll learn practical parenting advice from child experts about what you can do to help your teen face the fears and alleviate the pain. And you'll hear the inspiration and hope of families whose children are living happier, healthier lives.

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Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Invincibility Theory with Today's Teens

2008-03-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

By Connect with Kids

“I just like to see how far I can go and what I can do and what I can accomplish out[side] of the everyday norm.”

– Allan, 17

It has been said a thousand times: the biggest reason kids drink and drive, take drugs and do all kinds of crazy, dangerous stunts is that they think they’re immortal, invincible and bullet-proof. But is this what teenagers really think?

“It’s a sense of freedom, I guess,” says Allan, 17.

Allan is a self-proclaimed risk-taker.

“I just like to see how far I can go and what I can do and what I can accomplish out[side] of the everyday norm,” says Allan.

Risky behaviors can include rock-climbing, skydiving, street racing and even unprotected sex. It’s often said that teenagers feel invincible – but do they really feel this way? Researchers at UC San Francisco say no. In fact, they found that teenagers actually overestimate the danger of certain activities. And, while they know there are risks, they think the benefits and the fun are worth it.

“[Teenagers] are -- compared to an adult -- relatively uninformed. And if they are a novice and inexperienced with alcohol, drugs or sex, or any of those things -- as everyone is in the beginning -- they don’t know what to expect. Very often they don’t fully understand the complete nature of the risks they’re taking,” says Jeffrey Rothweiler, Ph.D., clinical psychologist.

“It might be that because the frontal lobes are not yet fully developed during adolescence that they’re more likely to make decisions, that they don’t fully think through the consequences of their actions,” says Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., neuroscientist. The prefrontal cortex matures the most between the ages of 12 and 20.

Allan knows there is a potential for injury with some of the risky actions he takes.

“I guess death is a factor, or getting paralyzed or … hitting the ground while you’re climbing. But you just try not to think about it, keep a positive attitude,” says Allan.

But in his mind, the benefits are worth it.

“Just being able to look back and see that you’ve done something. That you’ve accomplished ... a rapid or a rock or a trail or something like that,” says Allan.

Tips for Parents

Research shows that certain approaches to parenting can help prevent teens from engaging in all types of risky behaviors, from drug and alcohol use to dangerous driving to sexual activity. This includes having a warm, loving and close relationship with your teen; setting and consistently enforcing clear rules and consequences; closely monitoring your teen's activities and whereabouts; respecting your teen; and setting a good example, especially when it comes to illicit drug and alcohol use. (Office of National Drug Control Policy)

Encourage safe driving, healthy eating and good school performance; discourage drug use, teen sex and activities that may result in injury. (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, HHS)
Teach healthy habits. Teach your teenager how to maintain a high level of overall health through nutrition, physical fitness and healthy behaviors. Make sure your teen gets eight hours of sleep a night -- a good night’s sleep helps ensure maximum performance in academics and sports. Sleep is the body’s way of storing new information to memory and allowing muscles to heal. (HHS)

Promote safe driving habits. Make sure your teenager uses a seat belt every time he or she is in a car, and ask your child to ensure that all other passengers are wearing their seatbelts when he or she is driving. Encourage your young driver to drive responsibly by following speed limits and avoiding distractions while driving such as talking on a cell phone, focusing on the radio or even looking at fellow passengers instead of the road. (HHS)

Promotion of school success. Help your teen to become responsible for attendance, homework and course selection. Be sure to have conversations with your child about school and show your interest in his or her school activities. (HHS)

Prevent violence. Prevent bullying by encouraging peaceful resolutions and building positive relationships. Teach teens to respect others and encourage tolerance. Teach your teens that there is no place for verbal or physical violence by setting an example with your words and actions and by showing them respect as well. (HHS)

Know the 4“W’s”—who, what, when, where. Always know who your teen is hanging out with, what they will be doing, when and for how long they will be out, and where they will be. And check up on your child. Be aware of the dangers that can arise at teenage parties. Teen parties present an opportunity for your teen to experiment with alcohol or tobacco. One approach is to host the party so you have more control over ensuring that these parties stay safe and fun for everyone involved. (HHS)

References

Office of National Drug Control Policy
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS)

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Reality of Teen Pregnancy

2008-03-16T16:02:00.001-07:00

Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.

1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year! Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.

Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems. They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.

The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.

Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.

Troubled Teens, Struggling Teens, At Risk Teens, Problem Teens

2008-03-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

Do any of these labels sound familiar?

•Truancy (Excessive Absences)
•Multiple Suspension/Detentions
•Expulsion
•Academic Failure/Grades Dropping - Underachiever
•Social Withdrawal – Isolating themselves
•Poor Decision Making
•Peer Relationship Problems; Fights; Arguments
•Choosing the Wrong Peer Group
•Defiant/Anger/Violent/Rage/Rebellious – Conduct Disorder
•Confrontational Behavior/Acting Out
•Refusal to accept Accountability for their Actions
•Depression/Bipolar/Oppositional Defiance Disorder
•Involvement in Cult Activities – Gang Activity

Does any of the above sound familiar? If so it may be time to start searching for healthy and safe alternative schools or programs. Whether they are local or out of the area, after conferring with a school guidance counselor or therapist, you may determine that a different academic setting may benefit your child. Absences and Suspension Rates (or Incident reports) are useful indicators of student academic or behavioral problems. Most truancy and incident rates increase with grade levels. Another words, this will most likely escalate rather than go away if not addressed. We always recommend parents to seek local adolescent therapy* prior to residential placement.

Incidents rates are on the rise and school expulsion have increased, nearly doubled in the High Schools within the past three years. The zero tolerance rates may be attributed to this rise in numbers, however it is a clear indication that some teens are truly struggling and need outside help. This is has to do with many factors:

• Population Increase, which leads to overcrowding in the schools
• Lack of ACCEPTANCE of our Cultural Diversity
• Family Conflicts – Marital Issues (Divorce, Separation, etc.)
• Stress and Anger Management Problems
• Lack of Communication and the skills to communicate with Today's Teens.
• Ineffective or Inconsistence Parenting/Discipline Strategies
• Substance Abuse (Drugs and/or Alcohol)
• Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities – ADD/ADHD/LD
• Zero Tolerance Level at Schools
• LACK OF AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY RESOURCES & SERVICES

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Contact us today.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): What your children are doing shouldn't be a mystery

2008-03-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life.

If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents' Universal Resource Experts Founder Sue Scheff Launches New Website Design for P.U.R.E.

2008-03-01T10:30:00.001-08:00

My new website design for P.U.R.E. has recently been launched! It is not 100% completed yet but the new and updated design incorporates my new first book being released in July 2008. Over the past (almost 8 years!) my website has been re-designed only twice - this is the third time.

Change is hard, but necessary - and like today's teens - we need to stay up-to-date with today's times.

I have enhanced questions to ask schools and programs as well as helpful hints. Change is always happening and P.U.R.E. is proactive in keeping up with bringing you current information on schools and programs.

P.U.R.E. continues to help thousands of families yearly. We are very proud of our association with the Better Business Bureau for many years and our excellent relationship with many therapists, schools, guidance counselors, lawyers, and other professionals that refer to P.U.R.E. on a regular basis in an effort to help families.There are going to be more exciting changes coming this year. A second book in progress and meetings with my Florida Senator and Congresswoman to work towards a safer Cyberspace.

Parents Universal Resource Experts: Coping with High School Bullies by Connect with Kids

2008-02-28T04:37:00.000-08:00

A Violent Age

Have your children ever been the victims of high school bullies? In spite of anti-violence messages and bullying videos, do you suspect your own kids may have hurt or threatened someone else? In either case, they wouldn’t be alone.

Youth violence is on the rise, touching nearly every teenager in America:

80 percent of teens say they have faced high school bullies

One in three has been in a physical fight during the last year

Among teens, murder is the second-leading cause of death

Bullying Videos Can Help Stop the Violence

Experts say talking with your kids and helping them understand their feelings of anger, hurt or fear goes a long way to helping both the victims and the perpetrators of teen violence. Watching bullying videos like A Violent Age together will get that conversation started and help you both know what to say and how to listen.

Your kids will relate to the teens in this program who talk about how high school bullies affected their lives. You’ll also hear from the Hessler family, whose daughter hung out with a rough crowd and was killed during a robbery.

Bullying videos alone won’t solve the problem, but A Violent Age is a great way to take the first step. Order your copy today and get advice from experts on how to keep kids safe from high school bullies and how to get help for children who struggle from the anger, pain, fear and humiliation that goes with teen violence.

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Connect with Kids is a wealth of information for parents. I refer parents to them daily and I am always impressed with their valuable new weekly parenting articles and DVD’s. In today’s world of teenagers - parents need to be a step ahead!

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents' Universal Resource Experts: Helping Teens Avoid Bad Decision and Risky Situations

2008-02-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

Good Kids, Bad Choices

All kids make mistakes … but some bad choices can lead to terrible outcomes. As parents, we need to do everything in our power to help our children learn to make smart decisions. How do you help your kids learn about the consequences of a split-second decision? How do you help them avoid dangerous and risky situations?

Learn what leads kids to make bad decisions… and how parents can help with Good Kids, Bad Choices.

What is your greatest fear for your child? Car accident? Drug or alcohol addiction? Sexually transmitted disease? Unplanned pregnancy? Physical disability? Death? When it comes to learning how to avoid bad decisions, children need the guidance and insights that only parents can provide.

So how do parents learn what situations kids get themselves into? Why they make bad choices?
Order Good Kids, Bad Choices and find out.

You’ll see real teenagers talk about the split-second decisions they made … the terrible outcomes … and what they wish they had done instead. You’ll learn tips from experts and parenting advice about the steps you can take to help your child learn to make better decisions. And you’ll hear the inspiration from families who can help your family – before it’s too late.

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As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) keeping parents informed about today’s teens and the issues they face today is imperative for parents, teachers and others to continue to learn about.

Connect with Kids, like Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, brings awareness to parents and other raising with and working with today’s kids.

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Smoking, Alcohol and Drug Addictions Among Teens

2008-02-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

Addicted Kids

Alcohol. Drugs. Cigarettes. Many kids will experiment with at least one of them, but what happens when experimentation becomes an addiction? And how can you reach your kids before it’s too late? ? “It’s not like parents are bad or they’re missing something,” says Dr. Vincent Ho, psychiatrist. “Kids are just really good at tricking people.”

Drinking, smoking and using drugs are not “just part of growing up.” Studies show that parents can influence the prevention of risky behaviors in their children. Learn what pressures your kids face at school, on the weekends and at parties. Teach them how to say no in a “cool” way – and stick to it. Understand from experts the warning signs of drug and alcohol abuse.

Watch Addicted Kids with your children to hear stories from real teens who have used drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

Learn from experts and parents “who have been there” as they offer solutions that really work.

Loving your kids is easy: Parenting teenagers is hard.

2008-02-10T13:48:00.001-08:00

Parents today face very real and sometimes frightening concerns about their children’s lives. As they get older, your kids have their own interests, problems, even their own language. So what's the key to parenting?

You could buy a book…but your child probably won’t read it. You could search the Internet for advice, and ask other parents. Those are good options, but there's one that's even better for parenting teenagers: reality-based DVDs for kids and parents to watch and learn together. Parents don’t typically think of buying a DVD to help them with the issues their children or a problem teenager faces, but this is powerful positive television programming produced by the Emmy® award-winning Connect With Kids team.

Build Your Own Library

We have a complete library of half-hour programs devoted to parenting teenagers and kids, all related to social, emotional and physical health. These aren’t lectures or scare tactics strictly about how to deal with a problem teenager; they’re true stories of real kids facing issues like drugs, drinking, STDs, obesity, racism, peer pressure, body image, bullying, and more.

These powerful stories are unscripted, unrehearsed and told in kids’ own words, so your children will easily relate to them without feeling defensive, embarrassed, pressured or talked down to. The kids' stories are supported with interviews and advice from leading child specialists, health experts, educators and counselors.

Watching together is a great way to start talking with your kids. Each 30-minute video is only $19.95, and comes with a Viewing Guide with facts, suggested conversation starters and professional advice. To order, visit our products page.

As a Parent Advocate, Connect with Kids offers a great number of informational articles, DVD's, video's and more to help parents understand today's kids.

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

"Wit's End!" By Sue Scheff

2008-01-03T14:37:00.000-08:00

Wit's End is the shockingly gripping story of parenting a troubled teen and how the author turned her mistakes —and her relationship with her daughter -- around. This highly practical and prescriptive book includes all of the advice that the author now offers other parents who are at wit's end through her nationally recognized organization Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.). A much-needed guide to help parents navigate the choices and methods available to them and their child, this book also serves as a cautionary tale that will help parents empower themselves – and their children – toward healing. Wit's End is an action plan for parents to learn how to be active and empowered participants in their child's therapy.

As a single mother, Scheff offered her daughter Ashlyn gymnastics courses and the finest and most exclusive private schools -- striving to make up for a fatherless household. But when her beloved child became a teenager, everything changed.

Ashlyn embraced disturbing beliefs and behavior, made friends with a strange and maladjusted group at school, and refused to abide by rules. At times, Scheff believed her daughter would harm herself or others, if she didn't seek professional help for her daughter. In desperation, Scheff turned to a residential treatment facility to instill discipline into her daughter while providing her with therapy and structure. The exact opposite turned out to be the case. After spending thousands of dollars and seeing troubling behavior in her child, she heard chilling stories of Ashlyn and classmates being kept in inhumane conditions, as well as of beatings, sexual abuse, forced starvation, neglect, and suicide. The daughter she had turned over to be helped by the residential treatment facility returned broken, depressed, and suicidal.

As Scheff struggled to find justice while fighting off lawsuits from the very institution that damaged Ashlyn, she found the strength and determination to found P.U.R.E. (Parent's Universal Resource Experts, Inc.), an advocacy group that draws parents together and helps them find ways to protect their children from destructive influences, educating them about the issues their particular child and family faces and creating a safe environment to revive familial bonds. Using the same criteria P.U.R.E. uses to research residential treatment centers around the world, Wit's End provides positive, prescriptive help for families who want only to put their children on the road to a safe, healthy, happy, and independent adulthood.

A chilling and fascinating journey into a damaged family and its path toward renewal, this cautionary tale, coupled with advice the author learned "the hard way" shows how one woman and her daughter found common ground again by standing up to the system and listening to their shared instincts and fought for safe alternatives for themselves and began to heal -- an example that every family struggling with trauma can relate to.

Sue Scheff Launches Two New Websites for Parents with At Risk Teens

2007-12-16T16:27:00.001-08:00

As a Parent Advocate I believe in keeping parents informed and up to date on today's teens the the issues they face.

I have recently launched two new websites to bring you more information on the following subjects:Teen Suicide and Teen Criminal Mischief

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents Universal Resource Experts & Sue Scheff: Responding to Lies from Psych Central by Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D

2007-11-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

I’ve always found it useful to remember that, from a child’s perspective, a lie is simply the best solution to a problem that he can come up with at that moment. The real challenge for the parents of chronic liars isn’t spotting the lies, but finding the underlying issues and helping the child learn different and more appropriate responses. Here are some ideas that may help:

Ask yourself if you’ve giving your child permission to tell the truth. Remember that children most often lie to avoid punishment. What does your child think you’ll do if he tells you what really happened?

Even though, as adults, we can’t be forced to testify against ourselves in a court of law, we routinely ask our children to do just that. Children often tell psychologists and teachers that they felt guilty and wanted to tell their parents what they had done, but they saw that their parents were in a bad mood when they came home, and worried about the punishment they might receive if they didn’t lie.

One way to encourage your children to tell you the truth is to focus your responses on their specific behaviors (breaking that heirloom vase) rather than on their characters (”You never listen to me when I tell you not to play ball in the house!”). Give them a chance to make appropriate amends when they’ve done something wrong so that they don’t feel that they’ll be punished forever if they tell you the truth.

Look for patterns in lying as clues to what’s really going on. These patterns can be in the situations where children lie, as well as the content of those lies. For example, you should be more concerned if your child routinely lies in several settings, such as in school or with friends, as well as at home. A child who has problems with self-esteem is more likely to lie in a variety of situations, but a child who’s afraid of punishment will lie mostly to the people he’s afraid of.
Remember that lying is an act that involves at least two people, not just your child. If you want your child to stop lying to you, you’ll have to change as well. Ask yourself if your own patterns of lying have given your child the message that it’s all right for him to lie.
Have the restrictions you’ve placed on your children’s activities changed as they’re gotten older? For example, a child in late elementary school will want more control over how he spends his weekly allowance than younger children do. Let’s say that you don’t want him to “waste his money” on comic books. If you later ask him how he got the Spider Man comic that’s in his room, he’ll probably lie.

The most realistic solution to the problem is to let him buy the comics. This is an important way of recognizing that he’s growing up. Besides, buying comics is pretty innocuous and is probably even beneficial; it’s a much better choice than spending his allowance on cigarettes, alcohol, or illegal drugs — substances that are increasingly used by school-age children. Besides, kids are less likely to ask to do really outrageous things if you’ve allowed them to do at least a few semi-outrageous things.

Don’t tempt your child to lie. If you know your child forgot to feed the dog, don’t ask him if he did so. If your child begins by lying to you, don’t let him continue and dig himself in deeper. Instead, stop him and let him know that you know he’s lying.
Remember that it’s better to assume the role of an educator than the role of a police officer. Help your child learn how to accomplish what he wants without lying to do so. Show him how he might tell you the truth. (While this may be obvious to you, it may not be to him.) Explain that telling you what really happened offers him a chance to correct the situation at least partway. If all children learn is that they’ll be punished when you catch them lying, they’ll simply become better liars.

Dr. Lawrence Kutner is a nationally known clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School, where he’s co-founder and co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. He’s the author of five books: Parent & Child: Getting Through to Each Other; Pregnancy and Your Baby’s First Year; Toddlers and Preschoolers; Your School-Age Child; and Making Sense of Your Teenager.

What's Related

Other articles by Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D

Anger Management
Finding Meaning in the Holidays and Christmas
About Family Therapy
Marriage Myth: Spouses Can’t Change
A Pocket Full of Gold
Why Children Lie
FAQs About Antisocial Personality Disorder
Understanding the Loss of Your Pet
Torture
Exercise Helps Keep Stress at Bay

Parent's Universal Resource Experts Continuing to Help Families

2007-11-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

At P.U.R.E. we have helped literally thousands of families over the years that are or were at their "wit's end!"

Creating parent awareness and helping parents to better understand today's teens can help you to have a better relationship with your children. We are our child's advocate!

Sue Scheff: "Wit's End!"

2007-10-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

So many parents contact us on a daily basis stating they have reached their "wit's end!"

Where do you go from here? You will see I have listed many avenues to travel and resources to review.

My book "Wit's End!" will not only give you hope and inspiration, it will offer sound advice from first hand experiences.

As the founder of Parent's Universal Resource Expert's - it has been amazing to see the thousands of families we have touched.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff Authors Wit's End!

2007-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

On a daily basis I hear from parents that are struggling with their teens and pre-teens.

Most call when they have finally reached their wit's end! Since I have been there and back, I know from first hand experience the stress and frustration this can cause an entire family.

Visit http://www.witsendbook.com/ and http://www.helpyourteens.com/ for more information.

Wit's End! Book - coming soon

2007-06-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

Soon you will be able to purchase "Wit's End!"

I hope many people will learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge. Struggling with a pre-teen and teen today can be frustrating, stressful and cause you a lot emotional turmoil.

This book was written with parents, guidance counselors, therapists and anyone that works with today's children. It will give you helpful resources through first hand experiences.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

At Wit's End!

2007-02-28T09:27:00.001-08:00

Are you at your wit's end?

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or have rage outbursts?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn towards the family?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Is your teen sexually active?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD issues that are not being addressed?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Conduct Disorder?
Does your teen steal?
Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent?

Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wits end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.

Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wits end, take a moment to review my website at http://www.helpyourteens.com/ or http://www.suescheff.org/ on Teen Depression which many times can be where the negative behavior is stemming from.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get sucked into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Wit's End! By Sue Scheff

2007-02-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

Are you at your wit's end?

By Sue Scheff

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or have rage outbursts?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn towards the family?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Is your teen sexually active?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD issues that are not being addressed?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Conduct Disorder?
Does your teen steal?
Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent?

Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wits end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.

Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wits end, take a moment to review my website at http://www.helpyourteens.com/ or http://www.suescheff.org/ on Teen Depression which many times can be where the negative behavior is stemming from.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get sucked into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.